


The Colours We Can't See

by Liam_Weekz



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Background Relationships, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, M/M, My First Fanfic, Slow Burn, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings, Work In Progress, all characters mentioned will come
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 14:08:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29491101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liam_Weekz/pseuds/Liam_Weekz
Summary: Tsukishima sees the world in a different light, the colours he sees start to blend together in tones of grey. How is he supposed to tell red lights from the green ones?
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 3
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! This is my first fic, I got this idea and it started eating away at my brain. I hope you enjoy! (more notes at the end)

Something they never tell you about color blindness is that you live most of your life completely unaware of its presence. Tsukishima was eleven when he first found out that grass wasn’t supposed to be the yellow-blue tone he’d always known it as. He has always looked at this defect as a point of weakness, something that places him below the rest of his peers and because of this he’s made it his mission to make sure no one knows. No one, including his best friend Yamaguchi.

Tsukishima’s morning started like every other, his phone rattling obnoxiously on his bedside table. Half dazed and eyes still crusted from sleep he reached for the white-blue light illuminating his still dark room. He didn’t need to check his phone, he already knew what he would see, the time at 7AM and a text from Yamaguchi, like clockwork.

7:00am  
Sender: Yamaguchi  
Message:

Good morning sleepy head! I’ll be at your house in :20.

7:01am  
Recipient: Yamaguchi  
Message:

Can’t wait.

7:01am  
Sender: Yamaguchi  
Message:

Your ability to deadpan over text amazes me lol

He had grown accustomed to this wake up call, Yamaguchi would forget his head if it wasn't attached and yet, every morning since he got his first cell phone, he remembered Tsukishima’s good morning text. This thought alone was enough to bring a small smile to his face. It was all a part of his daily routine, the routine that kept him sane. Being able to know exactly what would happen gave the boy a sense of peace, he knew no matter what happens he’d be able to rely on that text.

The next twenty minutes passed in a matter of seconds, a flurry of mundane activities allowed little room for anything out of the ordinary. Most people would find this regime to be tedious, but to Tsukishima it’s become formulaic. It gives him peace of mind to know that when he wakes up he knows exactly what the day will have in store for him. The same could not be said for Yamaguchi, if he did have a routine he seldom stuck to it and simply went along with anything life seemed to throw at him, which would explain why when Tsukishima stepped outside his front door at exactly seven twenty he saw the shorter boy running up his street. After waiting a couple minutes he finally arrived at the front door, his breathing sporadic and although he tried to hide it, Tsukishima could see that he was struggling to even stand.

“Sorry….I saw a cat….and I lost…. track of time.” Yamaguchi managed to sputter out between chaotic breaths.

“You know we leave early enough that you could have just walked.”

“I could have, I guess, but I didn’t want to leave you waiting.” The boy said with a weak smile.

The walk to school was exactly as it had always been, uneventful, Yamaguchi talked and Tsukishima listened, only adding the occasional affirmation. This conversation imbalance worked perfectly for the duo. When Yamaguchi talked the other boy would observe, taking mental notes of the way that his eyes lit up when talking about the Pokemon gym he had beat the night before, or the way his brow furrowed when talking about the math test the two had later in the week. The boy was too engrossed in conversation to notice the gaze on him, and as the streets began to fill with the other students making their way to class he finally allowed his gaze to wonder.

School was more so tedious than challenging, the lectures seemed to drag on longer then usual and the clock ticked even slower. Halfway through his math class he felt a tap on his shoulder, upon looking up he was greeted with Yamagichi’s smiling face pointing down to a piece of paper on they’re shared table. On it had the start of a game of tic-tac-toe and a little x placed perfectly in the middle of the board, naturally Tsukishima took this game very seriously and would use any excuse to not pay attention to the droning of their professor.

He lost every game.

________________________________________

“Hey Tsukki!” Yamaguchi stood up from their lunch table and waved at him from down the hallway even from far away his smile was visible. He made his way to their usual table, sat down and was immediately met with an onslaught of questions.

“Were where you Tsukishima? I was half expecting you to come back with chocolates,” The blond girl said with a polite laugh, although he and Yachi weren't the closest, the thought of having more than one person that even half considered him a friend was a foreign idea.

“So did you say yes this time?” The orange haired kid in the back chirped.

“No Hinata, there wasn’t even a confession to begin with. I was just staying back to ask for extra prep work.” The blond said calmly as he sat down.

Although it made no sense to him, Tsukishima had grown accustomed to receiving confessions. It had happened enough times that he began to wonder if it had become a game, who would finally be able to crack the ice around his heart. Many girls had tried and all confessions ended the same way, with an awkward conversation and a disappointed girl. Despite what he would let on he did genuinely feel bad when he rejected them, but this feeling was never intense enough to say yes.

Lunch was hectic, Hinata and Kegeyama started fighting at one point about nothing in particular, starting civil and quickly turning to incoherent yelling. As all the noise started to give him a headache he slipped his headphones over his ears and rested his head on the table. As the music started playing Tsukishima felt himself getting lost, mentally humming along to the melody. He was in a daze, allowing his brain to take a break, simply going blank. The boy began to daydream. He wasn’t brought out of this state until he felt a warm hand on his back rubbing small circles that sent chills down his spine, the spot where the hand touched began to burn and slowly filled his whole body with warmth.

“This better be Yamaguchi.” The blond exhaled, his body still acclimating to his surroundings. He felt a head rest between his shoulder blades, the snicker that rolled down his spine was a dead giveaway.

“I didn’t have it in me to wake you up Tsukki.”

“Well if we don’t go now we’ll be late for class.” The blond slowly started to get up, Yamaguchi’s protest to stay outside proved futile and soon enough they found themselves standing in the now empty courtyard. The two boys now standing face to face, holding prolonged, borderline uncomfortable eye contact neither one wanting to make the first move back to class. The three minute walk to class took them nearly fifteen, once the two realized that they would be late they decided to take the long way, winding around hallways and stairwells they had never seen before. Once they finally arrived at their classroom they heard the professor from outside already mid lecture, Yamaguchi threw his head back in dread.

“Tsukki can you help me study?” He groaned. Tsukishima didn’t need to answer, Yamaguchi already knew that he would say yes but he still looked up waiting for an answer. The nod of his head was all the confirmation he needed.

________________________________________

Just as expected there was very little studying being done, Yamaguchi was sprawled out on his bed playing Pokemon, even if he tried to take up as much room as possible he would barely be able to take up two thirds of his bed. Tsukishima often questioned him as to why he kept such a large bed when it took up almost all of his rather small room, he would simply shrug and state that he moved around in his sleep. While Yamaguchi was engrossed in his game Tsukishima took this time to prepare a study guide for his less motivated friend, he made sure to include plenty of drawings and charts to help Yamaguchi stay on track.

“You’re welcome.” Tsukishima stated, throwing the folder at the empty space on the bed. Yamaguchi in deep concentration barely mumbled out a thank you before patting the side of the bed calling the other boy to come lay down. Not one to disobey he got up from the desk and sat in the empty spot, Yamaguchi shifted so the view on his device could clearly be seen by the both of them, starting to narrate everything he was doing. It wasn’t before long that he grew tired, starting to fall asleep, the two boys agreed that it was time to get ready for bed. Tsukishima stayed the night often enough that preparing to do so came just as naturally as preparing for sleep in his own house, only instead of his own bed he slept on a foam mat on the floor.

As the boy laid down a sense of peace came over him. He wanted to bottle this moment and look at it forever, he wanted to savour it forever. But eventually, the faint murmur of Yamaguchi’s breathing filled up the room, slowly luling him to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the love on the first chapter! Honestly I was not expecting it at all, I'm really glad you guys seem to like it! Sorry this chapter took me a little longer then I had intended, school got intense. Hopefully in the future I'll be able to have a semi consistent schedule. I hope it was worth the wait!

Just like always, Tsukishima woke up first. It’s not that he was necessarily a morning person, it's that Yamaguchi was a sleep until noon person. The first thing he was greeted with in his fresh morning daze was Yamaguchi’s arm dangling off his bed, mere inches from Tsukishima’s face. He could feel the warmth coming off his fingers like waves splashing against his face, this warmth almost sent him back to sleep. Instead of succumbing to its calls Tsukishima fumbled around his spot on the floor until he found his glasses, delicately folded on top of his phone. He slipped them on and slowly the world came into perspective, once blurred lines became crisp. Most people took their sight for granted, this was never a privilege Tsukishima had. Ever since he was young it seemed to be all anyone saw of him, his glasses being in the forefront of people's descriptions of the boy. 

Reaching over again he grabbed his phone, it’s light didn’t seem as blinding as it usually did in the morning, blending in with the sun pouring in from the cracks in the blinds. The time read 9:47am, Tuskishima considered this a respectable time to wake up and finally committed to the idea of being awake. Yamaguchi didn’t share this opinion, still blissfully asleep, his breathing still deep filling the room. Careful to avoid the hand still delicately placed above him Tuskishima pushed himself up from the foam mat he’d grown accustomed to calling his bed. 

Once standing he took a second to look at his sleeping friend, saying that he moved around in his sleep was an understatement. Yamaguchi looked more like a mess of blankets and limbs then a boy deep in sleep. Looking at him Tsukishima began to feel a warmth come over his boy. It felt foreign, making him stubble back. His body was often cold to the touch but if someone were to touch him at this moment he’s sure they would be burned. He finally broke his gaze, and slumped down against the wall he had used as support. It wasn’t until he sat down he felt his heart, it’s thump was coming at a pace he wasn’t even sure was possible. It was going faster than it ever had at volleyball, even when Daichi made them run lappes he had never felt this. 

The intensity his body was feeling confused him, why? Why was this sudden wave coming over him? He had no clue but it wasn’t going away. Tsukishima dealt with this the way he’d learnt to deal with everything new that confused him, he reached for his bag and slipped out his headphones and gingerly took them out of their case. He slipped them over his ears, finding the perfect calm music compilation for this moment and allowed the music to fill his mind. He slipped off his glasses and pressed his knees into his eyes until he was seeing spots behind his eyelids. Slowly, slower than Tsukishima wanted, his heartbeat stabilized, his body temperature never truly returned to the frigid state he was used to instead dropping to a more tolerable heat. He grew lost in his music, he didn’t hear when Yamaguchi finally woke up.

He didn’t hear the stirring, or the faint “Tsukki?” Yamaguchi whispered when he saw him slouched in the corner. He didn’t look up until he felt it, not a physical touch but merely a presence. He felt Yamaguchi above him, then slowly he felt the gaze drop until it was parallel with himself. Yamaguchi grabbed his headphones, and gently placed them around the boy's neck. Tsukishima looked at the boy sitting directly to his left. Yamaguchi looked tired, his hair still a mess from sleep and obviously still in a daze. 

“Good morning Tsukki” he hummed, a small smile formed on his face, his eyes squinting. Tsukishima took a mental picture, the pure bliss on Yamaguchi's face was priceless, a bitter twinge came over Tsukishima as his friend's face began to shift back to its natural state. Once their eyes met his heart picked up again, like a caged animal trying to calm it only made it come back twice as hard the second time. Tsukishima broke eye contact, choosing instead to look forward at the desk he had been doing homework at the night prior. 

“What's wrong?” the smaller boy squeaked out. Tsukishima tried his best to hide the shock that tried to show itself on his face, his whole life he’s prided himself on being as stoic as possible and the fact that Yamaguchi could read him was scary. He looked back at the other boy. During his contemplation Yamaguchi placed a hand on his knee, this brought up an entirely new set of problems. The spot where his hand rested started to burn, not just heat up but burn with enough entensity to start a fire.

“Nothing. I’m fine.” He tried to stay as cold as possible through his lie, going as far as to add a small forced smile. He held eye contact until their gaze physically hurt. Yamaguchi’s face was no longer in it’s contentful smile, instead it shifted showing this worry on his face. The look of pity sent a jolt into Tsukishima. He had grown to loathe this look, he didn’t want people to look down on him and from Yamaguchi the look had a special kind of hurt. 

Whether or not Yamaguchi believed his lie or not was unknown but Tsukishima could see his shoulders deflate, releasing the tension he held in them. His frown flipped up into a noticeably less blissful smile, but a smile nonetheless. Tsukishima was at the very least able to calm himself down enough to seem like his normal self. Even if on the inside he was dealing with about fifty new problems all coming at him at once. 

________________________________________

Tsukishima lived an eleven minute walk from Yamaguchi's house, it took him four songs to get there if he timed it right. But walking home this time felt different, the fall air felt like daggers against his skin. The blood in his body reached a boiling point, he couldn’t take it anymore. The lack of control he had of his body scared him, but what scared him most is he didn’t know why. Although he would deny it to anyone Tsukishima did in fact feel emotions, just like anyone else. The key difference is Tsukishima keeps his in a bottle, the cork shoved down so that no matter how hard you tried, it could never be lifted. 

His body moved at it’s own free will, completely lost in thought he blacked out. He didn't snap out of his trance until he reached his front door. He could almost hear a sizzle as his hand made contact with the metal of the knob, Tsukishima flinched at the sudden cold. The door creaked open, he kicked off his shoes and was greeted with the empty that was the inside of his house. Calling it minimalist would be an understatement, a single white couch, a glass coffee table and one house plant were the only things that decorated the room which was far too big to have such few items in it.  
“Im home.” He called out. His voice rang through the house, he knew full well the chance of his parents being home was slim to none. His parents both had full time jobs, often leaving for days at a time on business trips. This combined with Tsukishima’s school and volleyball meant that hardly ever see each other, they passed each other like ships in the night. Then his brother left for school, leaving Tsukishima alone.

His house was dark, the only light was the light that poured in from the cracks of the curtains, he made no move to open them. Tsukishima’s house always felt cold, it looked like a showhome straight from a magazine but there was nothing personal about it. Slipping on his headphones he made his way upstairs, his body temperature was coming down to match the frigid temperature of his surroundings. Tsukishima’s room was by no means messy, compared to Yamaguchi’s at least but compared to the rest of the house it was a cluttered mess. His dinosaur collection took up the wall of shelves above his desk, little trinkets littered the room. The wall above his bed held a collage of photos, moments that he deemed important enough to remember forever. Most of which were photos of himself and Yamaguchi, the occasional photo of him and Akiteru from when they were younger. 

Tsukishima slumped down on his bed with a sigh, music pulsing through his ears, down his spine and out his feet. The vibrations flowed through him with a low buzz. His mind circled through thoughts aimlessly, upcoming school assignments, their practice match against Nekoma, what he would make himself for dinner that night, Yamaguchi. He stops, recalling the events of that morning, his heart skips a beat, his breath starts to stagger, his eyes and mouth clenched shut. His body was reacting independently of his mind, he hated it. He hated that he couldn’t control his body. He hated that he couldn’t understand what was going on. He hated that he finally encountered a problem he couldn’t solve. He hated that he did know why. His mind was swarming, he couldn’t take it anymore. Being alone with his thoughts was dangerous. Tsukishima was desperate, he wanted nothing more than for Yamaguchi to call him, text him, anything. He would never tell him but Yamaguchi is what kept Tsukishima sane, he was the only one that he could drop his guard around. He then realized another thing he hated, he hated how dependent he had become on Yamaguchi. 

Time lost its effect, seconds turned to minutes that would in turn go to hours, eyes glazed over lazily finding shapes in the stars that covered his ceiling. Tsukishima had wanted to get rid of them but Yamaguchi protested, claiming that he enjoyed the light when he slept over, naturally this was convincing enough for him to keep them. Tsukishima was so entranced that he nearly let out a scream when he heard a knock at the door. He grabbed his phone, 7:36PM, the day had melted away in his slump. 

He was mostly just annoyed as he walked downstairs to open the door, if it had been anyone important they would have just walked in. Tsukishima peered out the small window on his door curious about the identity of this new intruder. Although he wasn't expecting it, this didn’t come as much of a surprise.

“What do you want?” Tsukishima stated before the other boy could speak his greeting. 

“Wow, what happened to hello? Are you not happy to see me?” The boy never deflated, his smirk stayed plastered to his face. Although he would take this to the grave, at this moment he was happy to see Kuroo. He was one of the only people that Tsukishima could consider a friend and he’s willing to bet that whatever antics the Nekoma captain had planned was better than withering away in his room. He responded with a small smile, this was undoubtedly the most expressive Kuroo had ever seen him, he reached out and grabbed Tsukishima’s arm pulling him slightly out the door. 

“I’m here to kidnap you!” Although he tried to sound threatening, Kuroo sounded more like a child trying to control their parent. Tsukishima had two options, he could either spend the day alone in his house or he could go follow Kuroo in whatever he had planned, after some thought he decided on the latter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it, all interaction is super appreciated! I'm so excited to continue this story, if everything goes according to plan the next chapter should be posted this weekend.

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a little passion project so I hope you liked it! If there are any mistakes please let me know. I hope to not keep you guys waiting too long between chapters. Is this a good chapter length? Thats something I was having trouble judging. If you wanna talk my instagram is @baka.collects and my dms are always open!


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